Dulcet Devotion

Slippery buttery brioche lightly toasted on the grill. Juicy patty, topped just right, and motherf*&^-ing spicy mayo dripping through my fingers and down my arm. In a good way. I’m not a sauce gal, per se, but give me more of that sriracha mayo!

I can’t remember the exact moment I first found out about Huxtaburger. I was still at home in Toronto, and came across them on Twitter, I think. Intrigued by the name (huge Cosby show fan here *UPDATE this didn’t age well now did it!) and stoked by the location (Melbourne), I knew someday I’d have to try it out. A small burger joint with burgers named after The Cosby Show characters—c’mon, I had to visit!

Fast forward to last month, when I finally had the chance to re-visit Melbourne, my favourite city.

I decided that the main purpose of my trip would be to try as many restaurants and cafes as I could, all places I had bookmarked over months of anticipation of visiting Australia’s culture capital. My only rule was that if I was going eat everything in site, I would have to walk to each and every place.

So walk I did, on a balmy summer’s night, all the way from North Melbourne to Collingwood, where Huxtaburger sits, tucked innocently enough into a busy stretch of Smith St. Blink and you might miss it.

Please. Please don’t miss it.

Though jam-packed both outside on the patio and inside the tiny burger joint, I lucked out and snagged a table within the first five minutes. Listening to Lauren Hill on the stereo, beer in hand, I waited.

Front row at the counter, I got to watch the whole thing go down, from the bustle of people filing in to the assembly line precision of the team behind the grill. It was like being at an old school diner.

Except smaller…and much, much cooler.

This also made the wait go by faster. The cashier told everyone of their wait time when they ordered (15-20 min) and while some people balked at the idea of waiting that long for dinner, he kindly explained that their burger was next in line on the grill and suggested they start with a drink. And with the great music they were playing, everyone settled in for their burgers. They are definitely worth the wait.

Curious passersby pressed their noses to the store front window to check out the theatre show on offer. Burgers, eggs, bacon and buttered brioche all sputtering away on the grill. Like a culinary symphony.

Just as I began to sway to the rhythm of this place, as if in a trance, my Denise burger (the hot one) was ready. Served with crinkle cut fries and a (foreign) beer, the whole thing came in at just under $20. In Oz, this is close to a miracle as food, and most everything else, is quite expensive (but taxes are included in all their prices, so what you see is what you get).

Reaching tentatively for the burger, the hot buttery bun slid through my fingers. I wasn’t prepared. Even though the Denise is loaded with toppings, the burger is not over-the-top huge, and is just the right size to tackle with one hand. It was juicy and cooked to perfection (well done but not hard as a brick–quite juicy, in fact) and the mix of toppings worked well together.

Jalapenos innocently poking out from beneath the patty, with a large leaf of crunchy lettuce and generous slices of tomato on top (don’t get chincy with the tomatoes, please). Ketchup (tomato sauce) AND mustard (we don’t get enough mustard Down Under) and of course, pickles. Oh, and CHEESE! Every burger should come with cheese on it.

The spicy sriracha mayo was dripping everywhere but was by no means too greasy or rich. In fact I couldn’t get enough. Good thing I got the crinkle cut chips–they were a handy implement to sweep up the escaping mayo. Between the sriracha sauce and the jalapenos, this burger was HOT. It had a nice amount of heat, more than enough, but still retained a full flavour (not just hot for hot’s sake). As a spice lover it was just right for me, and I think even my crazy really-love-hot-sauce-friends would find this level of heat respectable.

This highly anticipated meal didn’t disappoint. After my spine tingling burger experience, I floated on a cloud all the way home. Good thing I was walking–it gave me lots of time to relive my unbelievable burger experience over and over again. Things were looking up on the first few days of my Melbourne visit, and believe me, there are more great meals to come.

Stay tuned…